Wednesday, May 23, 2012
Insomnia
I only got two hours of sleep last night! Mostly because I was worrying about only getting two hours of sleep and how tired I was going to be at work the next day. Of course I woke up late and had to rush to get ready for work. I didn't have time for breakfast, felt exhausted and frazzled. After FINALLY getting ready I leave the house and rush out to my car only to find a parking ticket on it! The last thing I need at the moment. This obviously starts my day off on a negative note and just seems like one of those days where nothing is going to go right! This might sound like a day that you've had, many people have days like this. I know I am not alone. The problem is I feel like this day I had today is not just one day....it's everyday! I feel like Bill Murray in groundhog day, except instead of having bad things keep repeating, bad things just keep happening all the time. I feel like I am constantly waiting for things to get better, waiting for a good day to come. Sometimes it does, but they are VERY few and far between. This is just a glimpse into the vicious cycle of an Over Underachiever..... I want to take a moment to let everyone know I am not writing these things to be negative or a downer. I started this blog to try and find a voice. I feel like most people do not understand me. I hope that people read this and can relate and know that they are not alone. As I hope to gain the same in return. I very much encourage comments. I want to hear other's stories as well. I also hope to learn from others and hope that people can help me as well. That being said there will be ups and downs in this blog, just like most of our lives. Once again I encourage comments, but please try to keep them kind. I look forward to sharing more soon! Until then I just hope for a better sleep tonight :)
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You are SO not alone! Let me tell you. I had the worst day ever today. But before I go on, I take these kind of days with a grain of salt. I take them with a grain of salt because I know that I will have a good one. So, let's just say I'm "extra emotional" right now. Tons of stress at work, I was plugging away and my boss decides to get 2 other people in for a practical joke on me. Today was NOT the day to mess with me, let's just say that! I cried at work today, then played softball (which I'm very competitive in) so when I played the worst game ever, it really upset me. I cried again in the car and just wanted to give up. But I didn't, I got home, and moved forward. Everybody in this world is struggling/fighting/overcoming something of some sort. We are ALL fighters! This is good, because it builds our strength, which makes the next "terrible day" a little bit more bearable. I hate to say it, but the bad days are necessary evils, because they prepare us for for what is to come next. If we all keep fighting and remain strong, imagine how strong we will have become year after year. I look forward to challenges and new difficulties, because that is what shapes us in my opinion. It's now what's happening to us that defines us, it's how we react to it and how we bounce back. I always remind myself of this because it's important to me for remaining strong.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I am an over-thinker too! When you said you only had a couple hours of sleep mostly because you were worrying about only getting a couple hours of sleep. I have to comment on this because that is SO me! I have learned that our mind and thoughts can make a situation a lot bigger or worse than it actually is. For example. We feel stressed. Well, if we just let the stress go through the human body on it's own, it takes 120 seconds to pass through biologically. Then it's done. But when we feel stress and think, oh, I'm stressed because I hate my job. I hate my job because I can't stand my boss. I can't stand my boss because.... Then it goes so on and so forth. Do you catch my drift though? When we overanalyze a situation, sometimes we make it worse than it actually is. My advice? Trust your gut. Listen to your instinct about things and take things at face value for what they are. Prepare for any outcome, and I try not to make assumptions with "always" and "never." For example, I always catch this green light on that street. Because then when it is red, you'll be disappointed. Catch my drift? I actually learned some of this stuff from a therapist I had a conversation with. It helped me immensely.
Anyway, I just wanted to comment on the subject because it really hit home for me today! Today was NOT an easy one, but guess what? We made it, and got through it. SCORE! Tomorrow is a brand new day and I am happy to be alive to experience it. Seize the day! :)
Thank you for sharing! This is exactly why I started this, is for me and others to have a place to relate, vent, help, etc. Everything you said is true, I've known all this for years, yet these are the types of things that are easier said then done. And much harder to think and be positive when you have a chronic illness to battle on top of it all. I know that you can relate to everything I talked about and once again thank you so much for sharing!
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